Dear Moon,

I fucking hate my life right now…but this woman i met today…she changed that

Probably not the way I should start a post but it’s the truth, and living in anything other but the truth is just a waste of life…

I’ve been so pissed off lately, pissed off at the whole world…

I’m pissed off at my room that doesn’t clean itself, my friendships that don’t go as I want them to, my friends that aren’t here & my friends that are, the radio that doesn’t play my favorite tunes, my car that isn’t a Ferrari, the job I go to that isn’t my own business, my blog that doesn’t have a thousand views per post, my posting rate that isn’t as frequent as I want it to be,my knitting business that isn’t blooming, my etsy shop that has problems because of where I live, my self that doesn’t love itself easily,my birthday tomorrow that isn’t my 19th instead of the 26th, my life that isn’t figured out & in order, my fiancé that isn’t spending my birthday with me, and the circumstance that he has no hand in, and that fact that I have absolutely no right to be pissed at him ….or any of the things i just mentioned, but most of all…I’m pissed at my thoughts that aren’t positive…

I hate hating my life

But you see there was this woman this morning, the woman I was suppose to go to to sign my resignation letter, and this woman was miserable…

The moment I sat at her desk I could feel the negative energy pulsing through her, she wouldn’t smile, wouldn’t even look at me & would reply to my questions in nothing short of a snicker and an almost rude comment….I usually smile at others, even when I’m not feeling well inside, but with this woman I didn’t, we just sat there in silence, in our own negative pool of misery as I signed the papers she asked me to, then something happened…

she smiled at me

…and called me a nickname that only my fiancé calls me, it’s an uncommon name but out of nowhere she called me that & then added “I hardly ever call people nicknames” and she smiled AGAIN……she smiled out of nowhere and it was contagious & I couldn’t help smiling & admiring how beautiful i didn’t notice she really is…I don’t know why I just felt the universe was trying to tell me something…

i’ve been working here for almost a year now and I’ve seen this lady only when i recieved my paycheck & I know after my time here I’ll probably never see her again … But I won’t ever forget her, she inspired what I’m writing now

i don’t know what happened, you probably want a magical answer and that’s exactly what you’ll get…I don’t know how it happened, I could tell you that even when buried in this much negative thought I’m still such a positive happy being that I infect even the most miserable of souls, or maybe she is…but I believe that what happened was everything in between

what happened in that small encounter made me think of all the other small human encounters we face everyday & how each soul we pass by, look at, talk to or touch, affects us, changes us, in ways I don’t know how to explain except with magic!

So I’m grateful, for that woman, for how miserable I am right now,because in some twisted way we can’t just get the good without the bad…I’m grateful for all the things I’m pissed at, because they are not so many much much much worse things that I could be miserable about.

i love you, you fucked up miserable universe & everything that’s wrong with you.

….and i’m mostly grateful for the moon, my Khaled & the breath I’m taking right now

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The Moon & I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter ^_^